Fatwa: # 17686
Category: Marriage
Country: Saudi Arabia
Date: 9th March 2009

Title

I talk to the girl i am engaged to

Question

i have been engaged for sometime and have done best to avoid conversation with the girl. however recently we started sharing text with each other through sms acknowledging (salam and dua) each other. I am also using this service to suggest some religious books, websites like this one, audios listening like those of molana umar palampuri RA. still i am not convinced and feel guilty about this practice and am willing to stop it. what would be your opinion?

I have accepeted the view of ulema that there is no concept  of engagement in islam. can we consider it as nikah when my parents my brother and my sister took consent from me to get nikah to a particular girl and  when same is true about the family of the girl ..her brother her father and her uncle take her consent to get married to a me and both the parties share the consent with each other ? Is niyah important? is khutbah important? is documentation important?

my sister and my mother even took some gift later to girl and we intend to include that in mahr later on by mutual agreement or that is demanded by girl?  can i consider it nikah.

a different question?

supose two people get nikah done but they break away after sometime without ruqsati(taking bride to home). what is ruling of shariah upon them? what will shape of talaq? is it same or there is some difference?

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

 

Your question consists of three different issues, each of which is answered separately below:

 

1. A nikāh is valid with a proposal and an acceptance of marriage in the presence of at least two Muslim, adult, sane witnesses.  However, if both parties have only agreed on marriage in the future, then nikāh would not have taken place.  Niyyah, khutbah, and documentation are not conditions for the validity of a nikāh. 

 

From your question, it seems that both parties have agreed to marry in the future, but have not actually married yet.  Hence, it is not permissible for you to talk to the girl and you should cease all communication immediately (Ahsan al-Fatāwā: 8/40; Sa'īd).  Any important messages that need to be conveyed, such as books related to marriage, should be communicated through family members, not directly. 

 

النكاح ينعقد بلفظين يعبر بهما عن الماضي نحو أن تقول المرأة تزوجت ويقول الرجل قبلت وقال ينعقد أيضا بلفظين يعبر بأحدهما عن المستقبل نحو أن يقول الرجل زوجني فتقول المرأة تزوجت

(المحيط البرهاني، كتاب النكاح: 4/5؛ إدارة القرآن)

2. Anything already given to the girl is hibah and cannot be considered as mahr, which is obligatory to give after the nikāh.  However, if it was made clear when the "gift" was presented that it is part of the mahr and the girl's family was simply holding it until after the marriage, then it would be valid. 

 

أما تفسيرها شرعا فهي تمليك عين بلا عوض كذا في الكنز وأما ركنها فقول الواهب وهبت لأنه تمليك وإنما يتم بالمالك وحده والقبول شرط ثبوت الملك للموهوب له

(الفتاوى العالمكيرية، كتاب الهبة: 4/374؛ رشيدية)

 

3. If the husband divorces the wife before khalwah (seclusion) takes place, the wife will be out of the nikāh with only once divorce and the husband cannot take her back unless a new nikāh is performed.  Also, the wife will be entitled to half of the stipulated mahr, as stated in the Qur'ān. 

 

وَإِنْ طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ إِلَّا أَنْ يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَ الَّذِي بِيَدِهِ عُقْدَةُ النِّكَاحِ (البقرة: 237)

And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you have stipulated a mahr for them, then pay half of the stipulated amount, unless they agree to forego it or he [the husband] in whose hands the nikāh is agrees to forego it [and give her the full mahr] (Qur'ān 2:237) 

 

However, if no mahr was stipulated at the time of the nikāh, then the husband should give her a few pieces of clothing suitable to her financial standing. 

 

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا نَكَحْتُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ ثُمَّ طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ فَمَا لَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ عِدَّةٍ تَعْتَدُّونَهَا فَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ وَسَرِّحُوهُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلًا (الأحزاب: 49)

O you who believe!  When you marry believing women and divorce them before touching them, there is no 'iddah on them.  So, give them some presents and let them go in a beautiful manner (Qur'ān 33:49)

 

In either case, the wife will not have to spend any time in 'iddah if khalwah never took place.


وللمطلقة قبل الدخول بها نصف المفروض لقوله تعالى: {فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ} (البقرة: 237) وإن لم يكن في النكاح مفروض فلها المتعة... والمتعة ثلاثة أثواب: قميص وملحفة ومقنعة، وسط لا جيد غاية الجودة، ولا رديء غاية الرداءة...أما في المتعة الواجبة يقول: يعتبر حالها لأهنا خلف عن مهر المثل وفي مهر المثل المعتبر حالها فكذا في خلفه

(المحيط البرهاني، كتاب النكاح: 4/155-156)

 

والطلاق قبل الدخول مسقط لأنه رفع للعقد من الأصل فيكون مسقطا للعوض وسقوط العوض عند وجود المسقط لا يكون دليلا على أنه لم يكن واجبا بالعقد وتنصف المسمى بالطلاق حكم ثبت بالنص بخلاف القياس

(المبسوط للسرخسي، كتاب النكاح، باب المهور: 5/58؛ الفكر)

 

واعلم أن الطلاق الذي تجب فيه المتعة ما يكون قبل الدخول في نكاح لا تسمية فيه

(رد المحتار، كتاب النكاح، مطلب في أحكام المتعة: 3/110؛ سعيد)

And Allah knows best

Wassalamu Alaikum

Ml. Abrar Mirza,
Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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