Fatwa: # 17750
Category: Marriage
Country: South Africa
Date: 23rd March 2009

Title

Would it be permissible for me to marry a sunni boy who beleives in meelads and reads salaami. I come from a tableegi back ground. I read istikaarah namaaz for 7 days but had no feelings.

Question

I would like some advice please.  Would it be permissible for me to marry a sunni boy who beleives in meelads and reads salaami.  I come from a tableegi back ground.  I read istikaarah namaaz for 7 days but had no feelings. 

1.  What does my istikaarah mean if i never felt or dreamed anything?  Does it mean its not good for me?

2.  My concern is what if my kids grow up to be sunnis will i be committing a sin?

 

 

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful


Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh  

 

Marriage is a decision that probably every person will have to make at some stage of his/her life. It requires careful thought and consideration.  Kufu (compatibility) is one aspect of marriage that requires this thought and consideration, as it enhances love and understanding in a marriage and is vital for a successful marriage.

 

Marriage with a Sunni boy is not an issue of permissibility and non-permissibility. It will be permissible for you to marry a Sunni boy (in context of South Africa). However, the issue is related to compatibility. Will there be compatibility between yourself (hailing from a Tablīghi background) and the boy (who hails from a Sunni background)?

 

This is a decision which you will have to take, after seeking the advice of your parents and family. However, in our understanding there seems to be non-compatibility between you and the boy, as your backgrounds are diverse and different. He believes in Meelad and Salaami, whilst you don’t. He may have other beliefs which you are unaware of, as you hail from a Tablīghi background and have no proper knowledge of his ways and beliefs. Also, the fact that you fear your children growing up as Sunni’s, is sufficient indication to non-compatibility. Be wise in your decision and not hasty. Consider your future and future of your children. Also, consider the interest of your family.

 

We respond to your questions:

 

1. It is important to understand that experiencing a dream or a feeling in the heart is not a necessary outcome of Istikhārah. The Mustakhīr (one performing Istikhārah) may experience a dream or feeling in the heart or may not. If he/she experiences a dream or feeling in the heart, then well and good and if not, it does not mean the Istikhārah was invalid or that the act intended is bad.

 

You may act according to what occurs to you, although you have not experienced a dream or feeling in the heart. If there is goodness in the choice you have made, Allah Ta’ala will ease your way in accomplishing your choice; and if you were unable to accomplish your choice, then Allah Ta’ala had saved you from the evils of that choice.

 

2. The marriage is your option. If you agree to marry a man that has beliefs of Meelad and Salaami, then you should bear the risk of your children growing up with similar beliefs. On the contrary, if you marry a man that does not have such beliefs, the abovementioned risk does not exist.

And Allah knows best

Wassalamu Alaikum

 

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa

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