Fatwa: # 22869
Category: Marriage
Country: Pakistan
Date: 28th October 2012

Title

How do I propose?

Question

i love a girl so much( a muslim girl, in my university).... during my earlier semesters i went to her, to talk to her .........at that time i didn't knew it is haram in Islam but I thought my intention is right later i will marry her............. but she did n't talk to me as she doesn't like the company of boys.....
Still i like her and i want to marry her...now i dont even try to talk to her coz i want to do it by a legal way(by marrying her)

Problems are:

i am afraid when i will send a proposal to her after getting a good job....i might get insulted (Allah na krey)........ for example she might say" he is the same guy dad who approached me in university etc.." what should i do, any dua?????

and 1 more problem can i see her, not in a bad sense????....i just want to do that to show her i am still interested in her(coz one day i said her in rage i dont like u)....i dont want to make her my girl friend and want to make her my wife(InshAllah)......... i have heard it is also haram to see a Non Mehram................ plz plz plz do reply

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Islam emphasizes tremendously that one must protect oneself from casting glances at strange women as it is impermissible.  Similarly, intermingling and freely talking with non-Mahram women is totally forbidden. 

Firstly, repent to Allah Ta’ala for any connection that you may have had with the girl in reference.  And have a sincere intention to protect your gaze in the future and to avoid speaking to the opposite gender without a genuine need.

You have stated that you have a desire to marry the girl in reference.  It is indeed praiseworthy and commendable that you desire to approach this matter in a purely Islamic way.

Before sending her a proposal, try to attain adequate information regarding her.  Do not rush to the proposal until you are totally satisfied you want to marry her.

Firstly, get your parents or any other reliable personality in the community involved.  Tell them your feelings and intentions. Let them do what they can to gather reliable information about her. Try to address this matter through the guidance of your seniors.  Furthermore, try to find out from other permissible avenues regarding her.  Perhaps from her close associates or relatives.

Do not base your decision completely on the way she looks.  Keep in mind her piety and her obedience to Allah Ta’ala.  A pious girl will be a source of contentment and preservation of your Deen.  Her piety will have a huge effect on the religiousness of your children.  Furthermore, consider her Akhlaaq (characters) and her background (family etc.) as well.  Perform Istikhaarah and seek the guidance of Allah Ta’ala.

After considering various aspects prior to proposal and you are satisfied, then you may propose.  The proposal should be carried out via your parents or seniors. 

We ask Allah Ta’ala to put goodness in your decision and give you success in Dunya and Akhirah. Ameen.

             

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Abdul Azīm bin Abdur Rahman,
Student Darul Iftaa
U.S.A.

Checked and Concurred by,
Moulana Ismail Desai.  

daruliftaa.net

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